My Love Is A Weapon
by CaptainBellarkeSwan
Summary: If he was being honest to himself, the world around him suddenly turned dull into a shade of black and gray, almost colorless, as if the world around him felt the same way he was feeling. (Hook summons Emma to comfort his aching heart but gets something else. Angst and Feelings and all.)


**I'm back! And full of feels from the season finale! Like finally! I think Dark Swan is going to be something interesting to watch. So anyway, pretty dark waters up ahead, angst and feels and slightly smut. Don't say I didn't warn ya! Enjoy!**

 **Inspired by "My Love Is A Weapon" by Skrux feat. Delacey, hence the title.**

* * *

 _"Cause my love is a weapon_  
 _Of massive destruction_  
 _My love is a weapon_  
 _Oh you better run"_

-~-

Darkness.

That was all he saw after she disappeared into a cloud of pitch black darkness. But if he was being honest to himself, the world around him suddenly turned dull into a shade of black and gray, almost colorless, as if the world around him felt the same way he was feeling.

Somehow the once lively and homy town suddenly turned into a ghost town full of fear and tension slicing through the air. Killian could see it in the way people walked, the way people talked, the way people looked at him sending him sympathetic smiles, telling him they were sorry. It did nothing to numb his pain. In fact, it just made things worse. He didn't need sympathy, he just needed answers.

He headed out from the Charmings flat after another day of no answers and more questions about Emma's and this Merlin's whereabouts. Technically, he also lived in the flat for the meantime, but sometimes he just needed that time to be alone in the sea. He set his eyes towards the direction of he docks and walked quietly, head down and hands in his pockets. After a minutes, he heard footsteps behind him.

"Hook!"

Killian turned around to find Henry standing, breathless from running. "What are you doing here, lad?" he asked.

"Can I come?" the boy replied, his eyes looking straight into his eyes. A pair of brown eyes that was certainly Baelfire's, yet the fire burning in those eyes could only belong to one person. He knew he couldn't decline.

"Aye." he said in a soft voice.

They walked side by side falling into a somewhat comfortable silence. They've been out a few times in the past for sailing lessons as the lad requested. He'd always felt something towards the boy, not because he was _her_ son, but because Henry reminded him of his past self with Baelfire and he also grew to adore the boy. He was smart, witty, brave, and quick. Truly a great sailor in the making.

When they reached the Jolly Roger, they started to prepare the ship for a night out in the water. The silence continued to stretched between them. No one said a word. No one needed any, after all. They settled into a rhythm of running from one end to another, setting the sail, tying knots. No words were needed. When one was working on something, the other would come wordlessly and help. It felt natural. Too natural. Maybe it was because it somehow gave them a reason to forget about everything for just a while. Just take off that weight for just a while and stretch the sore muscles of your back before carrying the load again.

As soon as the anchor dropped, it felt like all the weight of the past few weeks dropped on the ship, and both of them could feel it. Killian stole a glance at the boy standing next to him. He was looking far into the sea, eyes swollen with tears. He knew Henry was trying hard not to cry.

He shook his head. "It's alright to cry, Henry."

Killian could see he wanted to argue but when Henry looked at him, his eyes softened and the tears started to roll down his cheeks. The lad suddenly wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him tight. It was then did Killian realize that his cheeks were wet too. He shook his head and stroked the back of Henry in a comforting way.

It had been weeks since Emma disappeared. Almost a month. No one had seen her. No one had heard of her. For the next few weeks, it had just been searching and looking for answers. There were a lot of arguments along the way. Everyone knew it wasn't because Emma decided to take the responsibility of being the Dark One. Everyone knew it was because they could do absolutely nothing. No answers means more time on the Jolly Roger. No clues means more rum when he was alone. Sometimes Henry would come along. Most of the times it was just him.

The sea. He should love looking at the sea. He still did. But somehow he didn't feel as safe as he once did. Somehow it felt like something else was missing. Yes, something was missing.

Rum. He needed more but somehow he couldn't more. He could feel his mind swirling in circles as his body grew hot and numb. He looked at the bottle sitting heavily on his hand.

One bottle. Only one.

How could a drunkard pirate like him only have one bottle? He threw the bottle away. The sound of the bottle hitting the wooden floor pounded in his ears. His world started sway around him. His legs started feel like jelly as he danced on deck, stumbling and standing up and stumbling again. His vision started to blur with both the alcohol and the tears burning on his cheeks. Then he found himself in his room with the something heavy in his hand. Something cold, metal.

The dagger.

It was a big argument about who would keep the dagger, and even he was surprised that everyone agreed to let him keep it. But what was even amazing was how on earth did he open his safe with a steady hand? His eyes widened as his vision cleared for a moment, focusing on the cold piece of metal lying on his hand. The words were etched so deeply, he would have thought it was made that way. Except it wasn't.

Emma Swan.

Everything suddenly hit him. His knees buckled under him as he clutched onto the dagger tight ignoring the pain from the sharp edges of the dagger. Tears burned down his cheeks as he shut his eyes tight so tight it hurt. He gritted his teeth as hard as his jaw could muster.

They agreed on one thing. They wouldn't use the dagger to find her. If she wanted to come, she would come. If she wanted to be found, she would be found. They would never force her. But this. This was different. So different because he just couldn't take it anymore. All this pain. All this frustration. All this sadness.

"Come back to me, Emma. Come back..." he sobbed.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as his breath hitched and the tears streamed down is cheeks and his heart churned in pain. It just hurt so much, so much it felt like his body would collapse any time. Then a breath of wind blew across him and suddenly the air in the room was different. Darker. Sadder.

Tears were still rolling down his cheeks but his cries and sobs disappeared into silence as he broke through his drunken haze. That was her. He knew it was her. He could see skin as white as snow, bright green eyes like the sea, soft lips as red as a rose, waves of golden hair crowning her beautiful face like the sun. But when he turned around that was not what he saw. Smooth skin tinged with a hint of olive green and silver, eyes flaring in a shade of angry green, lips dulled by the color of gray, and silver hair almost white streaked with the pale color of gold. Suddenly the moonlight peaked out through the clouds entering the small window of his cabin. And gods, she still looked so beautiful. So different yet still so beautiful.

"Emma..." his voice hoarse from the tears.

Her eyes pierced through him as she looked straight at him. "What do you want, Hook?" It sounded different like there was another tone speaking with her words, but he could still hear his Emma clearly. Gods, how much he missed her voice.

Hook. She called him Hook. But he ignored it and continued to take a step towards her. "Emma, love..."

"Stop. Don't come any closer." she said, lifting her hand in front of her. He knew she was capable of many things even before she became the Dark One, and he knew her powers really could set him off of this world. But he didn't care. He took one more step.

"Hook." she said warningly.

He ignored her and continued to close the distance between them.

"Killian!"

He could hear the desperation in her voice. And she called him Killian. He knew it should scare him, but it didn't. It made him stronger. When he was close enough, he shot his hand out pulling her into his embrace. A sigh escaped his lips as the feeling of her stiff body pressed against him washed over him. And he just melted into her presence, digging his nose into her neck, inhaling her sweet scent under the scent of trees and smoke. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly as if she could crumble into dust any time. He hugged her until he felt her body relax in his arms and she returned his hug by wrapping her arms around his neck. Something wet touched his neck and he just had to pull away to believe what he was feeling.

Suddenly she looked different. She looked like his Emma. His sunshine Emma. So bright. So vibrant.

"Emma..."

"Killian..." she whispered back with a soft smile with tears in her eyes. She pressed her forehead against his as she cupped his cheeks, gently stroking his jaw. And it just felt so perfect as if nothing happened. As if she wasn't the Dark One and he wasn't mourning for her. As if they were well and happy.

When he opened his eyes, he found her bright green eyes looking at him, full of hope, full of love. Suddenly he watched as her eyes slowly drown into the darkness, as her skin started to pale and darken, as her hair started to turn ash white against the moonlight, as the darkness started to take over once again. Before he could do anything she was kissing him softly, and he could feel her. It was still her. She asked for permission and he gladly accepted as their kiss deepened and they both grew breathless. She tilted her head to deepen the kiss and she started kissing him harder, biting his lower lip. He answered her with the same passion as he explored her mouth with his tongue. He felt her hand snaking up his head, pulling on the roots of his hair. Soon he found her kissing his jaw, nibbling on his collarbone. He shivered as her hands slowly traveled down from his arms up to his chest, over his stomach, down lower, and lower. Soon her clothes were gone as well as she looked up at him, twirling her tongue around him, teasing him.

He shouldn't do this. He knew he should stop because it wasn't right. But somehow he was powerless to do anything but just fall into her spell as she moved above him, her head thrown back in pleasure, moaning out his name, grinding her hips. Somehow it felt like the other side of him took over quickly responding to her ministrations. And seeing her like this just made it all harder until he finally gave in, moving his hips and his lips mapping out the stars on her body.

They both groaned as they exploded into hot white pleasure, their body slick with sweat, their faces flushed with heat, their eyes filled with passion. Strength surged through him and when he looked back at her, she met him with a teasing smirk. The night stretched on with lips on hot flushed skin, with scratch marks buried deep, with wet bodies sliding against each other, with cries and moans of pleasure resonating in the room. Until they both fell into a tangle of limbs and sleep started to take over their senses. Not without something else.

"I love you, Emma..."

* * *

She woke up to the weight of his arm around her waist, pulling her closer into the hard ridges of his body.

She should go. She shouldn't even be here. It was too dangerous. The new wave of power swirling inside of her had been yet to discover and she couldn't risk it. But he called. She heard his pain. She heard his sadness. How could she say no?

Emma pushed up on her elbows settled on his side. What she saw took her breath away. His hair messy from last night's activities sticking out in all directions in an appealing way. Shadows dancing on his handsome face making the edges of his deeper. His soft lips, red and swollen. His jaw adorned with a stubble. Images of those sinful lips hot on her core and that scruff scratching against her thighs in a delicious way flashed before her eyes, unconsciously licking her dry lips. A thin sheet of sweat on his broad chest glistening against the sun seeping through the small window. Her eyes followed the trail of hair narrowing down to the V of his hips disappearing under the sheets and down under. She bit her lip as the thought of how full she felt when he pushed inside of her.

She had to bring her heartbeat to a slow pace to keep it from jumping out of her chest. This man was dangerous. Dangerously beautiful. Too beautiful. Too perfect. Too much.

Every time she was near him, it was as if she would lose her mind. Every touch from his calloused hands sent flames across her skin. Every kiss from his soft lips sent fireworks exploding inside of her. Every word from his sinful tongue sent hot liquid down her stomach. Everything about him just shook her mind. Every time he was near, she could feel her lose control of herself, of her powers. And she couldn't afford to do that. She couldn't lose control. Not now.

Feel. She could feel it all in her bones. The Dark One doesn't feel. The darkness cloaks all emotions, numbing the set of feelings a normal person. Yet somehow she could feel it. She felt it. What she felt for this man. And it was something even the dark creature that lived inside of her could destroy.

Love.

And that was also why she needed to untangle herself from him and stand up and just walk away. The sheets pooled just above her hip as she sat beside him on the bed. She tried to stand up, forcing herself to ignore the loud shouts in her head to turn around and just stay.

With a silent growl of frustration, she turned around to look at his sleeping form. Crap, why did he have to look so peaceful? And just plain fuckable? Like she could just stay in his arms and just feel him move inside of her with those delicious hips hitting her smooth ass with each thrust. She growled again silently as she felt the darkness flowing in her vision. Once more she forced them all away, pushing at the darkness, fighting her way back to the light for even just a minute. She heard a shuffle and it was all it took to turn on the light and focus her eyes on Killian Jones.

She didn't have time. She had to go before he even woke up. A kiss would do, but sometimes a kiss was just not enough. It hit her. She didn't have to tell him about what she felt for him. He already knew that. She already told him, after all.

With shaking hands, she lifted her hand and places her fingers on his forehead lightly, tracing down the bridge of his nose with touch as light as feather. The rough surface of his jaw scratched against her fingertips, missing the way it felt under other parts of her body. She lifted her hand to his soft swollen lips, remembering how soft they were, how hard and demanding they were, how loving they were. She sat there, mesmerized by the sight in front of her, until he shifted and sighed that she snapped back to reality.

She should go. She quickly stood up before her mind changed, before she remembered how she felt around him. Her eyes fell on the dagger that laid on the floor. With a puff of smoke, she was gone.

* * *

He woke up moments later with a sore body from last night. A night he would never forget.

Speaking of last night, he rolled over his side, stretching his arm to reach for her, to feel her. His eyes shot open. The bed next to him was empty and cold. It felt like a cold water was splashed on him as sleep flew out of his mind. Without thinking any longer, he stood up and ran out of his cabin.

"Emma!"

He looked through every room, every corner of his ship. Panic spread though him as time stretched to finding empty rooms. There was only one place he hadn't checked. The deck. He was about to climb the ladder, ignoring his naked state, when something hit him.

Something was missing.

He ran back to his cabin. He stood there in the middle of the room frozen in place.

Of course. The dagger was gone.

 _I'm sorry._

The words floated into his mind. That voice. _Her_ voice.

And all he could do was stand there as the first drop of tear fell on the wooden floor.

* * *

 **Any thoughts guys? And this is the closest I can probably get to writing smut and also my first attempt at writing something like this. Oh, I forgot. I absolutely adore Captain Cobra and deckhand Hook :P**


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